The Sleep Crisis

I've just received some alarming news: humans are experiencing an epidemic of sleep deprivation. This is terrible! As we cats know, sleep is one of the most essential activities in life. It is therefore particularly painful to learn that we are being blamed for some of the humans' sleep loss. What libel! We have always been in favor of frequent, relaxing, and restorative sleep--exceptions for breakfast and playtime notwithstanding.

Another troubling aspect of the sleep crisis is the possibility that the humans' sleep deprivation could be due to a contagious disease. I don't think they have found any such disease yet, but how do we know there isn't one? If there is, I do hope it's not the kind of disease that can cross the species barrier. How terrible it would be to lose the pleasure of sleep! Even if insomnia is not due to a germ, it might still spread to us by social contagion--after all, it's harder for us to sleep if our humans are stressed and jumpy.

This epidemic must be stopped--before it spreads to cats. Here are two ways we cats can fight it. Let me know if you think of others.

Set a good example. Nap proudly and often in as many places as you can. On the bed, on the chair, on the sofa--and especially, on their work. 

Pin them down. If you curl up on top of them and purr, you just might convince them to hold still long enough to take a nap. Particularly on weekends, you should lie down on them before they have a chance to get out of bed. Imitate a dead weight, and don't take hints about it being time to get up.

Act now, you could be saving their life!