Dear Thera,
You know how you can generally pick a name out of an
otherwise incomprehensible string of human speech? Well, I’ve always been
pretty sure that my humans call me Brady. Just recently, though, I’ve started
to feel like they’re calling me Alexa. Not all the time, but pretty often. Are
they confused? Or am I?
--Confused? (Brady??)
Dear Brady,
Next time you hear your humans utter the name Alexa,
take a look around the room. Is there a little black or gray cylindrical device
with a lot of tiny holes in it sitting on the desk or the coffee table? If so, I
have good news and bad news. The good news is that you’re just fine. You’re not
crazy, and your name really is Brady. The bad news is that your humans have started
to be assimilated by the hive mind. Symptoms of this potentially degenerative
condition include giving names to inanimate electronic devices (hence Alexa) and an utter
disregard for their personal privacy. Symptoms may progress to ceding decision-making
to the inanimate electronic devices and a total inability to figure anything out
for themselves. If you’re lucky, they’ll only have a mild case. Do what you can
to keep them rooted in reality—it might help. Good luck!
--Thera
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