Ceiling Fans

Dear Thera,

I have recently moved into a new house. My humans don’t seem to notice, but hanging from the ceiling of several of the rooms are terrifying bladed things. At first I thought they were some kind of huge bird of prey, but now I see they have too many wings for that. What are they? What can I do about them?

--Terrified

Dear Terrified,

Relax! Those are ceiling fans. The first thing you need to know is that they are completely harmless. They are not birds of prey, nor are they predators of any kind. Your instinct to cower as you walk under them and sense them hovering over you will wear off.

Opinions differ as to the true purpose of ceiling fans. Some cats I know believe that they play a role in indoor climate control. I’m not so sure about this, because I know for a fact that the hot or cold air in my house comes through the vents on the floor.

I have a different theory about their function. If you take a bold, face-on look at your ceiling fan you will notice that there are four or five points radiating out from the center. In other words, they are star-shaped.

You know that expression, Reach for the stars? These are the stars. If you look closely, you’ll see a little chain dangling tantalizingly from the center of the fan. It might even swing a bit, just begging you to reach out and catch it.

Ceiling fans are there to give us something to reach for. They are meant to be a symbol of hope, not fear. Reach up. Someday you’ll catch one.

--Thera