Surviving the Pet Sitter

The suitcases have appeared again in the bedroom. What can be more alarming? The last time that happened your humans made a big hustle and bustle and then went off and left you, am I right?

Hang on, though. As you cower under the bed watching the ominous packing behavior from behind the bedpost, let’s consider this rationally. How many suitcases are there actually? If it’s just one, things may not be so bad, particularly if you live with more than one human. So do some counting: are there more humans, or more suitcases? And how big are they anyway? Longer than you, nose to tail, or shorter?

The fewer the bags, and the smaller, the less trouble you’re in. If you live with two or more humans and only one of them is going away, it is likely that your daily routine and your comfort will not be greatly disrupted. Or if your single human is just going away overnight, things will also be alright again soon enough. Take a bath to dispel your anxiety.

However, if there are a lot of large bags, and particularly if you see clothes being put into them that are out of season—like bathing suits in February—then you have every right to be concerned. All the signs point to vacation. And that in turn implies the pet sitter. Not only are your humans about to abandon you, but they are about to loose upon you an unfamiliar person, who will handle your food and water dishes, disturb your litter, and perhaps even try to touch you.

Take a deep breath. Now take a quick bath. Above all, don’t panic. You want your humans to miss you, not be glad to leave you. So you don’t want to be yowling, tripping them, or throwing up on the carpet just now.

It’s hard to believe, but your pet sitter is unlikely to be truly evil. Nowadays there are even services that perform background checks on pet sitters with the specific intent of weeding out the evil ones. You may be able to get your humans to use one of them. You may also find that you recognize the pet sitter from last year. It’s never as bad when you know you’ve met and survived the person in the past. Even if it is a new person, don’t panic. You have the right to stay out of her reach. Try a live-and-let-live approach and it may not be too bad. You may also find that extra hours spent sleeping will speed the time that your humans are away. Above all, remember that they will come back.

There now, don’t you feel better? Take a good stretch and knead your claws a little to let go of the tension you’ve been feeling. You’ll live through this! And remember you have a secret weapon: if the pet sitter truly terrifies you when she turns up, there’s a surefire way of communicating the trauma to your humans. Just pee on the bed.