Where Do Humans Keep Their Feelings?

Everyone knows where cats feel their emotions: in their tails. When we are feeling friendly, our tails arch over our back in a curve the humans like to call a question mark. When we are excited and happy, the hairs on our tail fluff out in a bottle-brush pattern. In the thrilling moments leading up to a pounce, our tails lash back and forth, seemingly of their own accord.

The simple truth of cat tails raises a perplexing question: where do humans feel their emotions? Humans do not have tails, even under their clothes. Trust me on this one; I’ve checked. But then how can they properly feel emotions? One possibility is that, like the Manx cats among us, they have vestigial tails with bundles of nerve endings that process emotions even if they can’t express them visually the same way most cats can.

I don’t think that’s the answer, though. Through listening and observation, I have come to the conclusion that humans feel their emotions in their heart. Or at least somewhere under their sternum. That is where it seems to hurt when they are lonely or get bad news.

However, this answer raises yet another question: how do humans show their emotions? Hearts are hidden under bone, so how do humans communicate to others how they feel? They do have very expressive vocal communication, but surely they have some way of physically showing their feelings. In our case, not only do our tails process and communicate our feelings, but our ears convey them to those looking at us from the front. The emotions travel from the tip of the tail up the spine and out the ears. We’ve all felt it. So how does it work for humans? You’ve probably already wasted time trying to read your human’s ears and found that they always lie lifelessly against their skulls. Those inexpressive ears are, in fact, one reason for the myth that all humans are psychopaths.

To get beyond speciesist mythology, try looking more closely at your human’s face. Look at the mouth and the eyebrows. Once you start looking there you will find that your human is in fact quite expressive. If the corners of the mouth go up, that is a happy expression. If the eyes narrow a bit, so much the better. The eyebrows pulling together in front is an unhappy expression. Narrowing of the eyes is not a good sign in this case. Spend some time observing your particular human’s face, and you will start to be able to draw your own conclusions about your human’s emotional life.